The Fuzzy Royalty
I will have picutres of them up soon, I need to find a picture that shows off their regal bearing to its full beauty (meaning, i need to find a picture with their nose ends to the camera). :)
Phydeaux is the youngest, and ruler of the roost. He came to live with us one December about 5 years ago. He quickly became friends with Kitty, and laid claim to the big comfy chair in the living room.
Phydeaux is a proud member of CLAW.
He would tell you about it, but it's all a secrect, I don't even know much about it! :D
Kitty is the elder of the two. We brought her home for the ASPCA about 7 years ago, and she was an old cat then. :) The ASPCA people had originally named her Esmeralda, but Kitty didn't like that name and would only yawn at you if you called her that. After trying varioius names over a several week period, we discovered that she would only answer to Kitty, so Kitty became her chosen name. :)
The Cat's Prayer
Although I am too proud to beg, and may appear to be a very independent creature, I ask for your loving care and attention. I rely on you for my well being much more than you may realize.
This I promise you, my benefactor, that I will not be a burden on you nor will I demand more of you than you care to give.
I will be a quiet peaceful island of serenity for you to gaze upon; a soft soothing body to caress, and I shall purr with pleasure to rest your weary ears.
Since I am a gourmet who appreciates different taste sensations, I pray you will give me a variety of nutritious foods and fresh water daily.
You know dear friend, how I love to go. Allow me, I pray, a warm sheltered place where I can rest peacefully and feel secure.
If I am wounded in battle or suffering from disease, please tend me gently, and see that I am treated by loving and competent hands.
Please protect me from the inhuman humans who would hurt and torture me for their own amusement. I am accustomed to your gentle touch and am not always suspicious nor swift enough to avoid such malicious acts.
In my later years when my senses fail me and my infirmities become to great to bear, allow me the comfort and dignity that I desire for my closing days and help me gently in my pain or passing.
Hear this prayer, my dear friend, my fate depends on you.
CAT FACTS
(Note: all of these facts come from the human perspective)
If you lined up all of the world's cats, nose to tail, they would reach more than halfway to the moon. That's 144,000 miles.
An average housecat accumulates about 2,937 nicknames druings its lifetime.
In a cat's lifetime, the cat will shed 14.95 pounds of hair. Place that hair end to end and it will reach 661.58 miles.
A cat will learn 263 tricks during its lifetime.
The percentage of time during its life that the cat will listen to its owner is 3.83%.
A cat will spend 1.71 years of its life getting into trouble.
The average food related attention span of a cat is 2.16 hours.
The non-food related attention span of a cat is 3.28 seconds.
The amount of approved food a cat will eat during its life is 395.96 pounds.
The amount of non approved food a cat will eat is 178.59 pounds.
A cat will yawn an average of 109,500 times during its life.
A cat will meaow an average of 246,375 times during its life.
The amount of time a cat is awake and alert during its life is 3.15 years.
The average time a cat sleeps (or appears to sleep) during its life is 8.56 years.
A cat will spend about .83 years sitting motionless.
A cat will spend about 1.88 years looking up.
A cat will find about 5,475 hiding places during its life.
A cat will spend an average of 1.25 years of its life purring.
Thoughts on Cats
"Managing senior programmers is like herding cats."
- Dave Platt
"There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast."
-Anonymous
"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods.
Cats have never forgotten this."
- Anonymous
"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull
a sled through snow."
- Jeff Valdez
"In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats."
- English proverb
"As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat."
- Ellen Perry Berkeley
"Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God."
"One cat just leads to another."
- Ernest Hemingway
"Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message
and get back to you later."
- Mary Bly
"Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject
to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who
suffered from insomnia."
- Joseph Wood Krutch
"People that hate cats, will come back as mice in their
next life."
- Faith Resnick
"There are many intelligent species in the universe. They
are all owned by cats."
- Anonymous
"I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The
wisdom of cats is infinitely superior."
- Hippolyte Taine
"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life:
music and cats."
- Albert Schweitzer
"The cat has too much spirit to have no heart."
- Ernest Menaul
"Time spent with cats is never wasted."
- Colette
"No heaven will not ever Heaven be;
Unless my cats are there to welcome me."
- Anonymous
"Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel.
True, and they have many other fine qualities as well."
- Missy Dizick
"You will always be lucky if you know how to make
friends with strange cats."
- Colonial American proverb
"Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any
harm to ask for what you want."
- Joseph Wood Krutch
"Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle
and will p**s on your computer."
- Bruce Graham
"I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic."
"My husband said it was him or the cat ... I miss him sometimes."
"Beware of people who dislike cats."
-Irish proverb
"No matter how much cats fight, there always seems to be plenty of kittens."
-Abraham Lincoln
"Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat.
If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat."
-Mark Twain
"With the qualities of cleanliness, affection, patience, dignity, and courage that cats have, how many
of us, I ask you, would be capable of becoming cats?"
-Fernand Mery
"A cat is the visible soul of a home"
"It's really the cat's house--we just pay the mortgage"
Cat translation dictionary
compiled by T. U. Oracle
miaow = Feed me.
meeow = Pet me.
mrooww = I love you.
Miioo-oo-oo = I am in love and must meet my betrothed outside beneath the hedge. Don't wait up.
mrow = I feel like making noise.
rrrow-mawww = Please, the time is come to tidy the cat box.
rrrow-miawww = I have remedied the cat box untidiness by shoveling the contents as far out of the box as was practical.
miaowmiaow = Play with me.
Miaowmioaw = Have you noticed the shortage of available cat toys in this room?
mioawmioaw = Since I can find nothing better to play with, I shall see what happens when I sharpen my claws on this handy piece of furniture.
raowwwww = I think I shall now spend time licking the most private parts of my anatomy.
mrowwwww = I am now recalling, with sorrow, that some of my private parts did not return with me from that visit to the vet.
Roww-maww-roww = I am so glad to see that you have returned home with both arms full of groceries. I will now rub myself against your legs and attempt to trip you as you walk towards the kitchen.
gakk-ak-ak = My digestive passages seem to have formed a hairball. Wherever could this have come from? I shall leave it here upon the carpeting.
mow = Snuggling is a good idea.
moww = Shedding is pretty good, too.
mowww! = I was enjoying snuggling and shedding in the warm clean laundry until you removed me so unkindly.
Miaow! Miaow! = I have discovered that, although one may be able to wedge his body through the gap behind the stove and into that little drawer filled with pots and pans, the reverse path is slightly more difficult to navigate.
Mraakk! = Oh, small bird! Please come over here.
ssssRoww! = I believe that I have found a woodchuck or similar animal.
mmmrowmmm = It is certain that the best tasting fish is one you have caught yourself.
mmmmmmm = If I sit in the sunshine for another hour or so, I think I shall be satisfied.
Mreoaw = Please ask room service to send up another can of tunafish.
Mreeeow = Do you serve catnip with that?
mroow = I have forced my body into a tiny space in order to look cute. How'm I doin?
Miaooww! Mriaow! = Since you are using the can opener, I am certain that you understand the value of a well-fed and pampered cat. Please continue.
As you can see, it may take years of practice to be able to accurately distinguish some of these forms.
You owe the Oracle a can opener that doesn't require an opposable thumb.
